By Susurrus on Monday, September 15 2025, 09:42
The last week and a half has been something. I'm not even sure that tumultuous is a good way to describe it. I do know that my therapy appointment being rescheduled last week so bad. Very bad. But, that already happened and can't be changed. This time has brought up some very good insights, once I got past the initial shock of the realizations from different goings ons.
Starting it all off was my cousin in the midwest United States. He went from just chatting through FaceBook to creating a family chat. In that chat is him, his wife, two of their eight or nine kids, my three kids, my husband, and myself. It was interesting, a little strange at first because I wasn't expecting it but I also hate group texts. Then he started hinting at calling me momma. Which isn't totally out there because when he was younger, a lot younger, I had been sent to his parents house after I graduated high school. Before the start of the new school year, I was already at their house. Over a very short amount of time, I was doing all the things with and for the kids. My aunt, was now mostly absent because, there was someone that worked where she did that she wanted me to meet. He was only a few years older than me and I was turning 18 in a couple of months. Anyway, we never dated but my Aunt was dating and sleeping with him. Even taking a nap in her and my uncle's bed with him. What the hell, with the kids home I might add. So then she was either at work or trying to figure out how she was going to see him. Now the kids are calling me mom, but I can't get them to stop calling me mom. So I talked to my uncle and he said that he has talked to them too but that in reality, I was doing the mom things and she had exited that role. In November I want to say right after my birthday, my Aunt's mom died. I did'nt really know her but things gots really weird. Her and my uncle were going to drive to where the funeral was being held and I was staying home with the kids. Except my aunt had called my uncle and they were arguing. I'm not sure how it started or what it was about initially, but the end result when my uncle hung up was that she accused him and I of sleeping with each other. Aside from being in complete shock and a bit disgusted, it was my uncle. She also said they were getting a divorce. So they leave to go on this car adventure and the entire time they are hashing out their divorce. At the funeral she decided to wear a red cowboy hat with black pants and a white shirt. Which the rest of the family took issue with, okay. They get back and at some point they split and she gets a 2 bedroom apartment for her and I. I couldn't stay with my uncle and the kids so there I was, but I was seeing someone else so I would try to do the work thing and see him so there was less time alone with my aunt.
One day, my cousin was with us, she had visitation or whatever. I don't remember if his two siblings were there or not. Anyway, she got mad at him and slammed him up against her bedroom wall. So I went in and got between them and told him to go to my room and lock the door. Now my aunt and I are having out because no, don't do that to him, what is wrong with you. I take him back to my uncles and then I went to my significant other's house. Time goes by and my significant other gets an amazing job offer in Texas. Not that I necessarily wanted to go and was all for it, but I didn't want to stay with my aunt because that was getting dangerous. So I go to Texas a bit after he does and say goodbye to the kids and my uncle and my aunt is pissed off because I was moving and trying everything to get me to stay. I leave. Then she won't let me talk to the kids, see the kids, spend time with the kids unless she is there with us or on the line with us.
So eventually I move back to my parents house. I get a phone call that she wants me to be a part of the divorce proceedings and get on the stand to say that I was sleeping with my uncle. Then she was pissed that I refused mainly because it wasn't true in any way but also I don't want to be involved in whatever they are doing. After that it was just about radio silence.
Little did I know that my cousin currently has things going on with his wife and there is the word divorce being thrown around and things. They aren't divorced or planning to be, but it was a tough time. During that time I got two phone calls from my cousin. One asking about his mother and somthing she said and if there was or is any truth to it. So I talked to him about that and then the next one was a week later about his oldest daughter who is fifteen and my daughter is sixteen. So we talked about that and he's opening up about it, his past, his Dad... Except some of this stuff, I have to dig deep to remember or find something to give me a clue. Get him through that.
Somewhere in the middle of that my brother winds up on the outs with his long time girlfriend. So he calls me, talking to him and now all the past things are trying to pop up but I can't remember a lot or entire things, just snippets of things. He comes out and says that from a very, very young age it was pretty known that we don't go to our parents for things especially at night or when they are in bed. He comes to me, I'm thinking about it... Since I was two years old I've been *taking care of* him as close to a mom as possible but in our world, I was a protective sister. Except that combined with my cousin and now, I have been a mom in some way since I was two. My three natural children are all older with two being adults. And now I'm shellshocked, I literally don't know how to do anything else except take care of people and fix things or comfort them.
Which leads to this past Thursday. My friend stopped by and picked me up to go to a few places with her. At one place we found a little toddler bike for my grandson. Then we come across a lot of toddler clothes. Really cute ones and pretty much brand new and my friend says, what size is he? It dawns on me that I have no idea. None. I don't know much about him at all past what I see in pictures. So now I'm upset but also mad upset.
It's not like I haven't tried to see him or his parents or spend time with them. I have asked my son, I have asked her. When my son says ask Kass I have or had them both in a group text. She never answers. Always has talked through him. Even before she was pregnant. Well, this time the shit has hit the fan and I told Parker I did what you said, I did what she said, I have confronted her about posts about family and friends not visitin their son to be told we are not who she is talking about. In the end it didn't matter what I said, so I told my son to leave his house key, pick up his mail and change his address, take his keys and if there is anything in the basement that isn't being used or belonging to the residents of this house I'm putting it in a contractor bag and out with the trash. He doesn't live here, they don't come here, and I'm not a storage unit. She won't talk to me, she has never said any of what Parker is telling me or she's said I'm not talking about you or that's not what I meant. Except on this day, it is what she meant. She wants us to go visit them at where they are which is not their house. It's her sister and brother in laws house with their two kids and her mom living beside the house in a camper. He said the only ones who went out of their way to visit were her grandparents. Well, they are related to everyone in that house except my son. I'm not going to sit at a house that I know one person that isn't related but the others are all related to each other. I text him that after he left here without saying anything to his siblings. I haven't heard from him since then. I messaged him and said that I would be open to sitting with him and her and having a conversation so this doesn't keep happening. A couple of days later I messaged him the same thing. I haven't heard from him since Thursday and now we are on Monday. After Thursday the only time I messaged him was yesterday and still got nothing. So I don't know what to think or do. Except keep going, the ball is in their court. I don't know what I did or said and she won't talk to me. She ignores any messages or calls about visits or anything and waits for me to go to my son who then speaks for her. So, I don't know and I don't know why he is okay with treating me this way or her treating us this way. So, I guess I just have to wait and see what happens.
